I was reading a very moving post by my friend Marylin who wrote this wonderful post Family In Crisis . Please go and take a look, unfortunately Marylin’s situation will be resonate with so many people.
It started me thinking, why do things have to get so bad, before someone will listen ?. Why don’t they listen to our pleas and cries for help ?. I can only share my experiences.
I have found having a child with special needs in this case autism, gene disorder of gene 16p 11.2 microduplication and severe global delay development. All adds up to a very unique child that needs lots of attention, looking after, times that by 3 and you will get a rough idea of what life is like for me having 3 children with autism all with different/complex needs.
Life for our family has never been easy or simple and I definitely think our family have had their fair share of life’s knocks.
I had been pleading, asking for help/support when my children wouldn’t sleep, when my daughter became aggressive. When I became isolated and wouldn’t venture out from the security of my own 4 walls. Except to do the school run where I would run headlong into playground politics. If your face doesn’t fit your not worthy to talk to. The funny looks I would get because my baby made weird screaming noises and not the noises of typical baby.
It all became too much and right there in the playground I broke down. I sobbed my heart out. Do you know not ONE person came to see what was the matter. I remember going to the teacher and asking if I could talk to her. It all came out how I wasn’t coping, wasn’t sleeping.
Within a week I had a lovely lady who came to visit me and we sat just chatting, it was great I poured my heart out to her. Told her all my worries, my concerns. Why did it need to get so bad before someone to listen ?. I was allocated a social worker who was more obsessed with the house being spotless than she was helping. Who incidentally had NEVER worked with autistic children and only been on a course – her words. Didn’t really do anything for us despite giving us grief.
The ones that helped the most, the ones that sat and listened to my pleas were my doctor and health visitor. They sat up and listened to the fact I wasn’t coping. They were the ones that managed to get Zak with all his complex needs into a specialised nursery to allow me some respite.
So the question is why do things have to get so bad , so we hit rock bottom before anyone will help ?