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It Can Happen To Siblings As Well

According to a survey taken by the National Autistic Society shown that 63% of young people with Autism are being bullied. That is a large proportion don’t you think.

I personally think this is awful as society cannot accept different.

I want to share my daughter’s story and show that it is not only people with Autism that are bullied but their siblings get the backlash and are bullied as well.

My daughter was in her 2nd year of Junior school when the bullying started. At first I didn’t know it was going on but I did know something was wrong, something wasn’t quite right. She went from being a very extrovert little girl to very quiet and introvert. It didn’t happen overnight but looking back now they were signs were there.

I did notice the parents that once talked to me never used to stand next to me and I would be stood on my own with my 2 children in the pram, screaming. It didn’t matter what I did the children kept screaming but it wasn’t a normal scream it was a very high pitched banshee scream. As time went on my daughter became reluctant to leave school and would often come out when everyone else was gone.

This went on for a few months the parents isolated me and my family even more.

Finally, after months of asking my daughter what was wrong. My daughter broke down and told me she was being bullied at school because of the weird noises her brother and sister were making. The kids had been told by their PARENTS to stay away from my daughter because what ever was wrong with my children might be contagious !!.

I couldn’t believe my ears !!!, what was going on ???. Soon after all this came out my son was diagnosed with Autism and my daughter Autistic traits. I went in to see both the teacher and headmaster but they were at a loss of what to do. I contacted the National Autistic Society as I was new to autism as well and didn’t really know much about it. They suggested sending some literature so the teacher could hand out to the class and maybe do a lesson around it.

Of course it never happened the teacher just wouldn’t listen to what I was saying and didn’t want to know. Then fate intervened.

By some miracle we were offered a brand new house on a new development by a housing association. This meant my daughter had to change schools and start again.

Her new teacher was very understanding of our families situation and actually did a whole lesson around autism and people can be different. He ended up becoming the school’s SENCO.

Another example of bullying and isolation is this great post from Deb Aspie In The Family

The picture is of my family 3 of my children have AUTISM

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  1. I am totally disgusted to hear parents could behaviour in such away. I’m so happy to hear you’ve been welcomed to a new school who understand your families needs and will look after your children.
    I’m sharing with my friends.
    Good Luck Wendy you’re an amazing lady with a beautiful family! x

  2. That’s very ignorant of the school.A missed opportunity to show the children of the school that the bulling isn’t tolerated (including parents!) and to explain about autism.I hope her new school keeps up the lessons.

  3. Hi Wendy
    Educating the educators is vital. My son had problems with bullying and so did his siblings, who also have special needs. I was asked to give a short talk for the staff in the LSU as part of there Sp needs awareness evening. I asked for an ed psych to talk to son’s class, at son’s request, about autism and how it impacts differently on different people. My son was not present at the time because we thought it would be good if classmates felt free to ask questions. The result of it all was a better understanding of why my son behaved the way he did, and a raised awareness of autism in general.

    • Thank you Mandie

      I think that is great you were asked to talk about it, what a great way of educating people. That was a good idea asking the ed psych. Well done on raising more awareness of autism .

  4. How disappointing that teacher wasn’t more understanding especially as austic children are placed in mainstream school so often now.

    It’s good to see that your daughter’s new school is much more understanding.

    My now grown up son has spina bifida and came to a school I worked at to give a talk to a group of students on living with a disability.

    • Thank you for your comment Wendy

      What a great way to educate people your son is a great role model. I know I always think teachers should have a stint in a special school to see what autism/special needs is really like.

  5. What a heartbreaking situation to be in, Wendy, and shame on those teachers. If I knew which school it was I would send them this link to your blog. I think they should be ashamed of themselves for not coming to your daughter’s aid to make her life at school more pleasant.
    And shame on the parents, too! God help the children they are raising – our future generation, indeed!

    I’m so pleased that you moved house and school and your daughter was able to see that most teachers really do care.

    • Thank you Michelle.

      Hopefully this post will help others in similar situations. I know what you mean I was very angry at the school and so pleased my daughter isn’t there anymore. I was always taught to treat people how you expect to be treated. Never judge a book by its cover accept people for who they are.

  6. Good that it all came right in the end, but what an absolutely unnecessary nightmare for you to be in. How dare parents tell their children to stay away from your children because it’s contagious. This is exactly the kind of rubbish we need to educated people against in our society. People disgust me on a daily basis.

    CJ x

  7. Well done for managing to sort it out. We have had bullying here … difficult to know whether it was sibling related or not as each of mine are on the spectrum.

  8. I am gobsmacked to be honest. I’m so glad things have resolved for the better. Have you offered the old school some training?

    • Thank you for your comment.

      They weren’t prepared to listen to what I was saying. Its all down to the ignorance of people.

  9. shocking that there are parents and teachers like that. glad that you ended up moving and things are better now. As I posted myself, it’s only a hidden disability if we keep it hidden – I believe we have to talk about it and educate others as much as we can x

  10. I now think that every school should have lessons about special needs, whether or not there are any kids who have them in the school. Good to visit special schools too.

    Just hate the idea that other adults who should know better, just ignored you and told their kids to do the same 🙁

    • Thank you for your comment Candi

      Yes I agree I think seeing a special school in action would stop a lot of this. Thank you for your support

  11. I am absolutely stunned that parents and teachers would act this way, is it no wonder that their children turn out to be ignorant too. I am so happy that the new school is much more supportive, your children deserve support . Your blog never fails to inspire me.

    • Thank you for your comment

      Yes if the parents are like that what will the kids be like. Thank you for the compliment xx

  12. You are a brave and wonderful mother, your children are beautiful.
    My Siouxi has Angelman inc ASD amongst other things; i dont mind it when children stare mock or mimic her sounds when we are out together because you can usually explain her ‘syndrome’ ask them if they would do that to their brother or sister and reason with them as to the fact that people mock and get ‘silly’ about what they cant understand and then I get Siouxi to ‘say’ hello or play with them (she’s gorgeous, hilarious and very ‘disarming’),a couple of kids from ‘up the road’ used to be horrible but now they knock my door to ask if they can come to the park with us.
    However I have come very close to punching Ignorant so called ‘adults’on many occasions; one told his children to “move away from the spastic kid”, The guy was Afro-Caribbean so I started Quoting the Martin Luther King “I have a dream” speech at the top of my voice on the packed bus, right in his face to the applause and amusement of the entire Packed bus! He couldn’t get himself and his children off the bus quick enough!

    • Thank you Graham

      Your Siouxi sounds adorable. I like your attitude.

      My son Luke is best friends with a boy with Angelman and autism, they get on so well.

      I thought it was great you put that man in his place. Too many people are far too ignorant

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