A few years ago dark clouds descended on me and I was in an awful place. Some days it was a complete struggle to get up and get dressed. My dreams were full of ways of ending my life from the most grotesque to the quickest way. I was put on prozac which in itself brought its own problems because while my body adjusted to this new drug it made me psychotic – Mr Savvy’s words. I had no idea what was going on whether I was coming or going.
Years later have I found myself in this same dark place?. Ok, this time I haven’t thought of ways of ending it but each day is a complete struggle to get up and get dressed. I find it a struggle to do things, I thought it was all due to my strokes but really it is because I haven’t got the get up and go.
I am tired, fed up !. I find everything is getting to me, the slightest little thing is annoying me. The kids screaming makes me want to go and hide. I can’t cope with their autism and the meltdowns – it is all getting me down.
I have become a recluse sat in the safety of my 4 walls, where no one can see me. I can’t even concentrate on a programme I seem to loose the story half way through.
I hate to think that the dark clouds have descended again ! , I did everything to chase them away but now they seemed to have appeared from no where.
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Wendy on 
I think your whole body is under stress at the moment both from your own physical problems from the stroke but also the emotional stress of trying to look after your family when you’re are not as physically well as you would like to be.
Is it likely that you could be anaemic or have thyroid problems on top of your stroke?
I think your body and mind is reacting to these stresses but wouldn’t like to say you are depressed it may be that you need changes to your blood chemistry (whether by diet or medication)to help you be as physically fit as possible and thus easier to cope.
Do you think you/your body is getting enough sleep each night as that too is very important. Not for nothing is sleep deprivation used as a form of torture.
Thank you Louise
We have all been ill and it has been a very trying week. You could be right and could be a reaction to the stresses let’s face it the body does some strange things when we are stressed. x